Dread times are upon us at emgay ooo.
The last post suggested that we were just getting to the beginning of the end. As if in response, already on Tuesday I was told in no uncertain terms that "it's already the end" "we're done for" "it's over" "it's the end" and "we're screwed for ever".
All because "Krokodil Gena has come to stay."
There's a fair amount of background info required to fully appreciate the full gravity of these statements. Three main points:
1) They were part of one long speech said by gruff blue overalls workman man. He seems to be the general handy-man for my block of the accommodation. He always wears blue overalls. He is often in the kitchen smoking or frying potatoes or (multitasking) smoking and frying potatoes. Up until Tuesday I would occasionally say hello to him, and he once shouted at me for opening the window in the kitchen which was making a draught so I shouted back and told him it wasn't me that opened it. Otherwise he's generally rather taciturn; more than 5 words per contact with person/hour's conversation is a clear marker of extraordinary circumstances. Let alone a full on speech.
2) What had happened so far that morning:
-I slept through my alarm. I sleepily wandered through to the kitchen with some rubbish to put down the rubbish chute and with my saucepan of porridge. I opened the rubbish chute and there was sitting an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE RAT. So I shoved him down with my rubbish and shut the door again, and put my porridge on the hob to slowly and sleepily simmer over what had just happened. Then gruff blue overalls workman man comes in to the kitchen with a hammer in one hand and a glass jar in the other and crouches by the door...
3) Krokodil Gena: a favourite Soviet cartoon character from the cartoon "Cheburashka"
Must see. A choice cultural reference albeit strange point of comparison for said rat.
So gruff blue overalls workman man rails off while smashing the glass all over the floor with the hammer. I stand in my flipflops watching him wondering what on earth he's doing and continue stir my porridge. It's quickly clear that his long monologue is about new rat infestation which is immune to poison (!) and which has been breeding and has come in to the rubbish chute to shelter from this:
first proper snow - view from my window last Sunday morning
Then he took a brush and brushed all the broken glass into a little hole under the door - i.e. little ratty hole (so, all clear what he was actually doing).
Since then we have been bonding over how much the rats are cunning and evil little bastards. His glass thing was a complete waste of effort they cleared it away no problem and we have bonded over both monitoring this process. Also, since the chitchat takes place in the kitchen, it has extended to laddish subjects such as the relative benefits of the size and shape of my kettle.
hot conversation
I like how he never actually said the word "rat". I've heard about peasants who live in Russian forests and who never call bears bears as it's bad luck or something. They refer to them as "the landlord" or "Ivan Ivanovich" or general things along those lines, apparently. Nice story anyway, and it seems this is the skanky city version.
These events have also given rise to another little collection of Persian animal names.
Khar in Persian means 'ass' (or 'donkey') or can just be a prefix meaning 'big' in a few compound animal names. Two of these I think are definitely blogworthy, however you translate them...
Goosh in Persian means 'ear', moosh='mouse'
Rabbit = khar goosh
Rat = khar moosh
Lolz.
That's all for now on the donkey mouse infestation. As for the donkey mouses themselves I haven't seen any since tues but I bang on the rubbish chute door now before opening it, and occasionally hear them rustling and squeaking. I live near the kitchen but I'm optimistic that my farts have kept them at bay thus far.
Next thing on this post is The Sudden Arrival of The Cold Weather I'd Been Waiting For, and Subsequent Second Thoughts
The snow from Saturday night/Sunday day (ie that picture above) lasted a couple of days and was stuck to everything like icing. Very pretty and put me in a great mood. We also had thick fog that froze over everything and covered everything in ice. It all felt quite ominous, the fog was very low hanging and you couldn't see much which I guess is pretty normal really for when it's foggy and that's probably why they say that fog is ominous.
Then everything melted and was just grey from Wed to the next Sat (this one just gone). On Saturday evening the temperature dropped about 6 or 7 degrees to minus 5. It was cold walking home on Saturday night. During the night it got down to minus 10 and a real chilly wind picked up. I was slow to realise the seriousness of this and went for a jog in shorts on Sunday and got very pink knees and a shocking case of willy-shrink.
also this has been happening when I go outside:
For some reason the response to this plummet in temperature was that on Sunday morning the heating went off in my side of the building. My windows are a bit draughty, I thought of cling filming them but didn't get round to it. The temp continued to drop - was minus 15 overnight and minus 13 in the day. So last night I had a shivery sleep in my hoody and thick socks and sleeping bag under my duvet and felt pretty frrreessshh this morning as I ate my steaming porridge. It was cold enough for breath to do the steamy condensationy dragon breath thing inside my room and condensation froze on the inside of the inside window of my double glazing.
Once I got outside on the way to class it was a beautiful crisp clear morning and stayed clear and sunny all day, the first bit of sun in over a week, not a cloud in the sky apart from huge billows of condensation cloud hitting the cold air from factory chimneys dotted over the city skyline. Down at the metro I looked out onto the Moscow river. It is freezing in big sheets of ice from the edges in and the was steaming like a not very enticing hot tub.
When I returned this evening I actually laughed out loud a little (deranged as that may sound) when I found that the heating has been turned on. I found that my cabbage which was by the window overnight has frozen solid:
weapon.
and my smetana (the tasty creme fraiche I eat with pretty much everything) which was in my between-the-windows-fridge has turned into quite a nice kind of frozen yoghurt.
With a warm room now though I feel ready for anything and could happily get used to this proper cold winter, especially as I'm planning not to linger on for the slush in spring.
All in all rats and cold have been a good opportunity to have a good chat with the people who live in my block, and have provided entertainment and distraction. (Although my neighbour who is gently freezing with a draughty hole in his wall seems to have turned to drink!)
Otherwise life trundles on as usual and busy as ever with work, studying, cooking things like cabbage, and all the out and about stuff that make up big city life and the emgay ooo good times!
Hope you're all well, all my love.
No comments:
Post a Comment